Thursday, August 31, 2006
A New Human Species Discovered
A student from a premier institute of education here in Singapore has recently stumbled upon a whole new human species. Since the shocking new discovery just hours ago, the student has been left aghast. He also has taken the initiative to name it. It has both a common-place name and a scientific one as of press time.
It has been termed Homo Testiculus Hirstutus, otherwise known simply as The Hairy Testicle Man, akin to the both the Homo Sapiens and of course, as one can naturally guess, the Homo Erectus. Its name was derived from its appearance-it is hairy in nature. The Hairy Testicle Man is strictly not to be mistaken for the other species which is more common and easily found, known as The Hairy Testicled Man. It is also the cousin to the related species which belong to The Hairy Testicled Man.
Witnesses on the scene were heard to have exclamations of horror when they heard the term given to the identified species. Batgirl(not her real name), was heard to have yelped or rather, screeched, "Stop it can!" The police are still investigating as to the nature of the remark-they are unsure as to whether it meant that someone should stop The Hairy Testicle Man from the considerable trauma it provided for those whom unfortunately laid sight to it or whether it meant simply for the student to stop mentioning the now official name of this new human species.
There is only one known living species that has been discovered at the moment and the student considers himself fortunate to have the honour of sharing his classroom with it, as the species still attends school and functions rather normally as a human being. For a viewing of the species, please contact the species itself as it is considerably friendly, making history once again, for never before has any testicle been able to converse with humans.
Behavioural patterns have been noticed in this extremely rare species. As there has only been one that is discovered, most of the species behaviours are based on this particular one. It has been noticed to emit a shrill noises from what seems to be its mouth when poked in the sides. It falls under the chinese race too. It seems to be one step ahead of its cousin species, for its has the ability to uncurl its hair via the same means as us humans, rebonding at a hair salon; that is another trait differs its hair from its cousin species.It seems to also have affinity for balls, for the other half of the pair it belongs to has them.
The Hairy Testicle Man also has been found to have a button for a nose. The button functions both as a nose and a button as well, something its cousing species lacks. When pressed, the species begins to recite the alphabet, but somehow has problem progressing beyond its attempt at the very first letter, 'ehhhhhh!!!!!'
The Hairy Testicle Man is also short in stature and can be very bimbotic. It is not filled with sperm, at least not yet to the student's knowledge, but air. Its ego is undiffusable, often reacting to human slang such as 'chio bu' and also has been known to disregard its given name and call itself 'mei2 nu3(chinese for pretty girl or woman)' instead.
The species is still under observation and roaming free. The student has but one fair warning for every male out there in society- please keep The Hairy Testicle Man's cousin species in check or they might evolve into this species in future.
+disclaimer: This post is only for humourous purposes. No malice was intended and no testicle was hurt during the creation. +
posted by Lau Wen Loong at 9:16 PM
