Sunday, December 03, 2006
This is getting too personal
It's starting to get awkward for me to blog here. Try as i might to treat this blog like my own it obviously just isn't the same. I dunno. I can't make a new blog now without informing Booth/Mr. Leong/Hodge because they all want to keep tabs on my blogging exploits, so i'm stuck here. I even considered for about 5 seconds the other day keeping a personal diary, before i managed to banish such feminine thoughts from my head. (Not that i have anything against anyone keeping diaries, they're fun to read)
For now i'll just try to write a post like i normally would on my 'Blog of Shame'.
I havn't been sleeping properly for the last few nights. My eyes itch before i go to sleep, so closing them makes it sort of painful. Rubbing it, running water through, putting eyedrops doesn't work. I'll eventually drift to sleep a couple of hours later because exhaustion in the eyes overrides the itchy feeling. During this few hours my mind stays as active as always, and i get really screwed up thoughts when my mind wanders. (No, it's nothing sexual... Most of the time) Most of my day is spent playing games, so my mind's kept occupied then. At night though, it becomes worse. (duh)
I THINK i am feeling lonely. It has little to do with Elizabeth though, but it's just this general sense of... nobody to talk to, for the last few weeks. Sometimes i'd rather not let her know that i'm troubled about stuff so she doesn't have to worry about me. Xinrui's in Penang now, and Weiren just came back from France so at least next week i can call a whole band meeting and keep around company for awhile. My other outlets for talking are all busy with their own church stuff (lol irony) and it wouldn't do for me to pull them away from that at all. 1 soul's bad enough.
I havn't DotA-ed for... almost 3 weeks. My new comp keeps giving idiotic errors with the game, so i've stopped trying. I can sort of feel all the l337 skillz slowly dissipating day by day. Luckily i have had FF12 to take up my time, else i might have actually gone and done something useful with my life (shock!). I've been taking up poker and mahjong to keep my mind sharp, because FF12 is pretty mindless. (Yes, DotA does keep my mind sharp too) I'm running out of people to play both games with though.
Random sidetrack : 1 advantage of writing this here is that my parents don't read it. So no nagging and worrying about my psychological well-being. Elizabeth doesn't come here either, i think.
Dammit i need an outlet. Like right now. My bro's watching 'Gladiator' on the tv so i can't play PS2. No DotA. I lost all my poker.com chips for the day because my internet d/c-ed halfway through a game and made me 'all in'. I think i'll go look for old games to install or something. Don't really feel like typing anymore because i don't know where this post is going. I think i started with a point to get my mind to, but somehow i can't even remember what that was.
Ending sidetrack : Pearly said she might still be teaching us econs next year. She gets to keep us or her other class. She says she prefers us (so sweet) but it's up to Lagman to decide.
posted by Moca at 11:04 PM
